Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
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Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
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I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.