ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.