Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...