quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.