john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.