toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo