but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it