just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize