I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
