Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
