Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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