dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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