...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize