did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
