i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
