After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
