So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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