I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She's the barista slut.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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