Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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