Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
