hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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