you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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