we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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