did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We're too hungover to prance.
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