I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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