Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
