Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
