don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
there is glitter all over my balls
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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