He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
