I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
