just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
