I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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