quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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