i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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