I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
