"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
