how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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