No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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