im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
