i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
