you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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