you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
