i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
