I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
