it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
