it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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