I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
