I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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