Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
