Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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