Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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