This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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