I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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