I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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