i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
