Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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