did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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