he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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