Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
