What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My pussy is not your playground.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
