great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
