dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just want nice things and good sex
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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