its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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