I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
