I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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