Nicole vs. Life
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize