good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
