Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize