Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You may now shotgun with the bride
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize