Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
